Parents’ expectations and goals.... excruciating children!

29 June 2011

Parents are and play an important influencing factor when it comes to children setting their future goals. Often, parents raise aspirations, dreams and expectations for the future of their children often investing in them, expecting that through their children’s school performance they will be credited for their daily efforts. Aside of the normal joy and satisfaction parents receive from their children’s accomplishments, they often take pride and see it as a validation in they way they practice parenthood. This is also an indirect way to make their children everything they failed to be or failed to accomplish themselves because of unfortunate situations and other factors.

Contemporary living conditions, dictate a life style which pressures parents and they in turn pressure their children to be good students, good kids, etc. These conditions expressed as requirements by parents, school or society further contribute to the difficulties children may have to adapt to a number of new and unknown situations such as illness, divorce of parents, death of loved ones. Such experiences, unless dealt with substantial support, they may result to psychological symptoms and increased stress to children.

A child living under stressful conditions faces serious problems in its upbringing. Children, often worry excessively and for no apparent reason for its school performance or for its relationships with others. Children may become sensitive to any sort of criticism, have no self-confidence and low self esteem, and constantly underestimate themselves. Children can not concentrate because of their anxiety; they seem unable to follow their lessons and do their homework and often abstain from school games with friends.

To avoid such situations, it is important for parents to recognize the special characteristics their children have and accept them as they are. Parents should push aside their personal expectations, focus on what their children wish to accomplish and realize that their children are not their continuation but they have a life of their own. It’s best then for parents to let their kids set their own targets according to what the children want and need at this age.