Communication between Parents and Children

12 October 2011

Concepts like love, care, and tenderness are foremost in our minds when discussing the relationship between a parent and a child. Those concepts are identical in most people’s minds when they become mother or father.

 

However, are they enough when it comes to our child’s upraising?

 

And, most importantly, are they enough to enable us to truly know our child? 

 

The answer lays elsewhere, the keywords being communication and observation.

 

Daily routine forces parents’ attention elsewhere. For example, how many times has it happened to you that, while doing daily chores or trying to take your mind off of the pressures of daily life, your child talks to you about their day in school and you reply absentmindedly without processing what you’re listening to?

 

Financial difficulties have now increased and children’s needs and wants have been multiplied. As a result, working hours have increased and the expected lack of communication between couples is exacerbated in the few hours they have together. Frequently, parents will start arguing over an important or trivial decision concerning the child, even if it happens in front of the child. This leads to the “my parents” unit breaking down, leaving either “good dad” or “good mom”, depending on the occasion.

 

This article’s purpose is not to judge anyone’s parental role, but to alarm fathers and mothers concerning their communication with their child.

 

1. Remember that your behaviour is the archetype on which your child will develop his/her own behaviour.
2. Observe your child’s behaviour. Any unexplained change in behaviour is indicative that something has taken place or something is bothering him/her.
3. Tell your child things that may be obvious or apparent to you. Saying to your child that you love him/her or feeling proud of him/her might be obvious to you, but it is certainly not to him/her, your child will certainly need to hear it.
4. Set aside a part of the day no matter what else you are occupied with and talk to your child about his/her day.
5. Listen to and respect his/her opinion. In that way, you’ll teach him/her to respect the opinion of others.
6. Discuss with your partner with regards to your child and decide on a common line of upraising that both will follow.
7. Explain to your child any decisions you have taken that concern him/her. Children are scared of or become angry at the unknown.
8. Listen to your child and try not to overact to what you hear. Big reactions scare children.
9. Remember that no child wants to upset or hurt his/her parents, which is why they keep secrets. Create a climate of security and trust through conversation.
10. Communicate with the National Hotline for Children SOS 1056.
 

In any case, remember;

 

Good communication and observation may reveal a number of truths and most importantly, they are an important tool for both preventing and handling of any situation that may arise